Cindi Silva Poetry

poetry, haiku, prose, writing


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best cancer poetry|

For Cancer Poetry IV …

The Genetics Trumps All Card

when doctors, specialists
review your case and keep telling you
hmmm that’s interesting

what do you do?

when oncologists
laugh and say it’s never good
when a doctor tells you
hmmm that’s interesting

what do you do?

when you keep getting
sent to more genetic testing
and even more genetic counselors
to find the answers to
hmmm that’s interesting

what do you do?

when you like to play cards
and you keep hearing the words
genetics trumps all

what do you do?

I can’t tell you what you should do
but I can tell my plan
get more sleep if you’re sleep deprived
boost your immune system
alkaline as much as possible
juice those raw fruits and vegetables
go for 3 hours of brisk walks a week
more if you’d like to but they don’t improve survival
the past is the past let it go
keep doing the post surgery exercises no matter
how much pain your still in

laugh as much as you can
whenever things don’t go your way laugh harder still
really listen when someone talks to you about
whatever it is that’s important to them
and to the trivial stuff as well

spend time enjoying as much of each day
as possible; no matter how many hmmm
that’s interesting you hear
factor into the genetic studies a
person that practices joy; and if you
like to play cards and win; even if
they find the genetics card
don’t dwell on it

make each day count
look for the beauty it real does surround you
help people whenever you can
no matter how hard someone else
tries to make your day shake it off;
be creative and surround yourself with
people you love; let the ones that drag you down
find someone else to drain

Differentiate between problems that you
can solve; and circumstances beyond
your control; when someone you know
intentionally tries to hurt you like a vindictive ex
tries to leaves you in poverty; don’t walk away from
your share; still fight through a set of attorneys
until you get what you need; if you don’t have the
money to pay the rent keep looking for help and keep the
lines of communication open; learn how to survive
in povertry and turn what you’ve learned
into helping others; keep laughing; keep living

even if genetic trumps all is in your cards
new research happen all the time
new discoveries are made all the time
so just don’t dwell on the negative
what you have no control over
Keep creating Joy and looking for the beauty
in each moment as it unfolds
no need to dwell on anything really
as life is impermanent; keep living; just do it

these three things are most important to remember
1) Joy; create it; and spread it around
2) Never give up; and
3) As long as you’re breathing that’s all that really
matters

Note to the reader: Can this be done easily. Seldom the most important things in life can be done easily. But for me I’m making it my practice whether or not I have the genetic card; I have the family history card … always in my hand … not dwelling on that one either. It’s like playing Old Maid only I don’t want to give itaway. Just enjoy the laughter and keep playing.

Cindi Silva
12/5/12

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Cancer| Poetry| II|

Normal

 

I’ve always subscribed to

Normal is what’s normal to you

I find that comes in very handy

When dealing with things that

Are very uncomfortable and

take some time to adjust to

I’d like to now add

Although normal is what’s normal to you

It can change in a heartbeat

I’ve learned to not just be prepared

be flexible too

 

 

 

 

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Cancer Poetry| II|

Who needs ‘em anyway; do you?

Did you know that reconstruction

Is now a federal law

And by that I mean insurance companies

Are required by law to cover reconstruction

After a woman has had a mastectomy

Did you know that even if you are having

A reconstruction after a bilateral mastectomy

Most insurance companies will send you home

After two nights

Even if you’ve had a previous cancer

With radiation that increases risk

More scarring;

Difficulty healing;

Poor blood supply;

possibility of collapsed lung

no worries, I’m told you’ll know because

you’ll have a fever associated with pneumonia

that goes along with it

or other infection

Even when they know you are going to be home alone during the day

And there isn’t another adult to help you out

You will be heavily medicated and have difficulty moving

After having a major surgery; even more major with the reconstruction

Who needs ‘em anyway; do you?

While we’re on the subject of insurance companies

Did you know that an insurance company

Can on a whim decide to stop covering pharmaceuticals

That are proven to work for you; and are a medical necessity

In your health and wellbeing; because they don’t get a good deal on them

Requiring you to pay through the nose for the prescription

If you have money to do so;

Go without if you don’t have money;

Or I suppose there’s a third option if you have some money

Either decide whether you should eat or take your medicine

This is happening a lot and always has

(Dear Reader, these two examples are just small examples of why I say

Occupy Insurance, Now!)

Who needs ‘em anyway; do you?

Unilateral mastectomy is a major surgery;

Then does that make a bilateral mastectomy – what rank is above a major?

Gotta google that one; but for now; I match your major and raise you a major –

And on top of that reconstruction; I can see I need some more googling here;

Anytime you add an implant you are increasing risk of an infection

And complications

Especially if you’ve already had a previous cancer and radiation

Not enough blood supply; difficulty healing right; to name a few

Being over 42 makes healing more difficult

And many mastectomies are done over age 42

Poetry isn’t always pretty; sometimes it’s pretty grim

You okay, Dear Reader?

Decisions are placed before you; an overwhelming amount;

One step at a time; baby steps; right!

Boobies; titties; tatas; breasts

Brings us back to the original question;

Who Needs ‘em Anyway; do you?

Cindi Silva

October 2, 2012

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waiting is the hardest part| II|

Watching
The time unfold
relaxing, napping
Reading, talking
Doctor’s orders to
Listen to my body
And give myself
permission to do
Nothing but just be
Although it feels awkward
I’m up for the challenge

 

 

 

 

 

 

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biopsy|

This time it’s different
how many times have
I done this
More times than I can
Count
Only once before
The results came back
Unfavorable
Star light
Star bright
I wish I may
I wish I might
Have this wish
I wish tonight …

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the biopsy|

The doctor that did the procedure
I had previously met
I didn’t care for him
Either time
too old school
In his approach with me
talks as though he knows everything
Like jesus was his son
Like he was standing on an
Untouchable pedestal
Yet acts more like the wizard of oz
Afraid to be found out
Of his lack of expertise
The medical assistant more than made up for his missing bedside manner
I wonder why they no longer employ nurses in this capacity
She was young, smart
beautiful and
her heart was very large
She loved hearing about the book I brought with me
The warmth of the suns
She wrote down the title and
Author
I told her it was a gift from
A friend
That his mom was part
Of the great migration
And he was sending me a letter to tell me more
She told me her major was minority women breast cancer although her family
Lacked a history of cancer
I brought a part of her home with me yesterday
I thought I need to
Make those youtube videos
For my poet and writer book review group
I need to make the time
And share the superb work
Of authors’ I know that
Aren’t afraid to use their strong voices
Help them get out there
Always life seems to get
In the way while you’re making other plans
I hope it doesn’t this time
I hope I’m okay
Right now I’m very tired
It was a lot go through

tags: waiting for pathology| biopsy| best| breast cancer| poetry| blogs| poems| Cindi Silva| Cindy Silva| Youtube| Cindi Silva Poetry| Cindy Silva Poetry| mindfulness walks|


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waiting for pathology|

Waiting For The Pathology|
I Remind Myself
No matter what the results
even if in the worst case
it comes back positive
There will always be so much
more right with me than wrong with me
My life will always be filled with passion
spirit, laughter, and love
My joy will not be squelched
My curiosity and zest for living
will remain
I have more strength than I will ever realize

tags: waiting for pathology| best| breast cancer| poetry| blogs| poems| Cindi Silva| Cindy Silva| Youtube| Cindi Silva Poetry| Cindy Silva Poetry| mindfulness walks|